the smuggler’s bible


Perceval misses his mother, but it’s hell getting home for a visit. He winds up spending the night at a castle in the middle of nowhere.

“Boy, you’ve gotta be some kind of lost to find this place,” the king tells him.

Dinner is free, but halfway through a kid shows up with a bleeding spear. Later, they bring around a cup that glows hot and yellow like an 80-watt bulb.

“I really just need directions,” Perceval says. Instead he gets a new sword. It’s long and it’s sharp, and that seems to settle the matter for everybody but him.