the smuggler’s bible


Edouard the irresponsible time traveler cackles as he throws another shovelful of Egyptian sand over his shoulder. In a few hundred years, a French soldier is going to spot the Rosetta Stone in a pile of building materials.

That leaves plenty of time for Edouard to make a few carefully chosen edits.

His shovel chimes against black granite and he kneels down to start scooping with his hands. Soon, he has the entire beautiful slab lying out in the sun, gleaming with knowledge.

Edouard takes up his chisel, and tries to remember the Demotic translations for ‘Napoleon’ and ‘horse’s ass.’