the smuggler’s bible


“Nice guys never get ahead,” Pelleas moans. “Women only date assholes who treat them bad.”

“No kidding?” Gawaine says, strapping on Pelleas’ armor. He rubs the silk tabard between two fingers and whistles. “You say this broad is an ice queen?”

“Yes, but I love her.”

“We’ll get her, buddy. Sit tight—I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Pelleas waits patiently in his tent for three days, sighing into his pillow. After that, he rebounds with the Lady in the Lake and forgets the whole thing.

As for Gawaine—well, he tells Ettard he killed her ex and they totally make out.