the smuggler’s bible


All things considered, the middle of a river is a terrible place for jousting, but Gareth is trying to be a good knight and that means making the best of a bad situation. Also it is two against one.

“Man up, why don’t you?” the damsel says behind him. “You gonna chicken out?”

“No,” Gareth says, “I’m just thinking it over is all.”

“Uh huh.”

“Look, this is tricky, okay?”

Actually it’s easier than it seems. Gareth just hits them both on the head, and they fall into the water and drown.

“Whatever, nerd,” the damsel yells. “You got lucky!”