the smuggler’s bible


The Palace of Versailles, France, 1919 CE

“Okay, let’s try and power through,” the scruffy looking assemblyman says, pulling at his collar. “Germany loses the colonies—France gets Cameroon, Belgium gets Ruanda, et cetera.”

“Yeah! And only birds can live in Austria!” somebody shouts from the back of the room.

Mopping his forehead, the assemblyman continues: “Reparations are settled, pecuniary and otherwise. The occupation plans are pretty well hashed out and—”

“Call it, uh, Birdtopia!”

“—And independence is secured for Czechoslovakia and Poland.”

“No wait, that sucks. Call it Ostriche-ia!”

The French delegate raises his hand. “Maybe ‘the feather-land?’”