the smuggler’s bible

Chief Hobert

Chief Hobert gets the final say. Yeah, it pisses some people off, but number one is always gonna have a target on his back anyway, so might as well get some kicks while you have the chance.

“These four here,” he says, pointing, “and, uh, over by the tree. Yes, you. Drag this statue back to the village.”

“C’mon, man, I helped drag it all the way out here.”

“And I decided who dragged it then, too. You don’t see me complaining about doing the same job twice.”

There’s a little grumbling, but—miraculously—that line actually works pretty well.