the smuggler’s bible

Vlad Dracula

“I mean, what do you wear to a graveyard wedding?”

“A cape. Friggin’ easy.”

“Absolutely not. Some things are too tacky, even if they’re expected of you.”

“Be grateful you have options,” Frankenstein’s Monster says. “If somebody ever made a suit in my size, I couldn’t afford it.”

“I don’t have time for your problems right now. This thing is in a week.”

“Remarkably short notice for a couple corpses.”

In the end, Vlad Dracula wears white on white and everyone says he looks amazing. Corpse brides really don’t give a shit, man. They’re happy just to get some attention.