the smuggler’s bible


Tmolus is the king and gets to name his mountain whatever the hell he wants. So he names the mountain Tmolus. There’s a bull on the mountain that starts getting called Tmolus too.

The situation—just like any higher order geometry in normal space—collapses into itself when Tmolus (the bull) tramples the shit out of Tmolus (the king) while he’s hiking on Tmolus (the mountain).

“Total nonsense.” Zeus says. “This is the bar we’re setting for mankind? We’re happy with this?”

Apollo sips his wine. “They know what they like. That’s why we keep letting them judge our contests.”