the smuggler’s bible


Therefore he that desires to to become an ice cream vendor of assured good qualitie to the intent that he bear up stoutly before the chilled bins, he must have a strong bodie. He must be free of sicknesse and of goode complexion.

It has often been the case that the profession has drawn to it those of insufficient abilitie. These will be driven over by the ruckus of teens and the griping of the common publick.

Mavuto looks up from the training pamphlet, checks his watch and wonders if they’ll serve real food for lunch or just, like, popsicles.