the smuggler’s bible


Dusica works really hard, studies all the literature and comes up with a few ideas on her own. By the end of the week, she has managed to manifest a glowing orb in her bedroom.

“Benvenuto,” the orb says.

“What? Is that Italian?”

“Si, la brillante comunicazione.”

Dusica squints and taps on her phone for a minute. “Seems like a pun. Don’t fuck with me, man. This is serious.”

“Amateurs are so fussy. Fine what’s up? You need somone dead?”

“Holy shit, no,” Dusica says. “Wait. Do you do that?”

“Jesus Christ. I’m an orb, sweetie. Don’t be so gullible.”