the smuggler’s bible

Vlad Dracula

Vlad Dracula unlocks the second sub-cellar and descends the stairs with a candle in one hand and his cloak billowing behind him like a glistening ink ribbon.

“It’s absurd,” he says. “Attempted kidnapping! A naked display of force this close to the night. What did he expect?”

“Perhaps that I would come quietly.”

“Of course, one of your hallmarks.” Vlad Dracula sets his light aside and throws open a wooden chest in the corner. “Here, take this,” he says, pulling forth a dusty satin hat box. “Fuck the little creeps. As soon as it snows, we’re black-bagging a real player.”