the smuggler’s bible


Lowell drinks a glass of water and considers his options. He takes a quick look out back, hoping that some of the thornier elements have shaken loose, or perhaps congealed into a different configuration.

“Wow, she’s stuck good.”

“Real good,” Lowell says. “No discernable give at the major friction points. Maybe there, near the base. I could get something wedged underneath and—”

“I wouldn’t try it. Looks load-bearing.”

“If god is kind, this abomination will flatten itself.”

In the end, the wedge sticks too. Everyone agrees it’s a marvel. Except Lowell, they have to take him away in an ambulance.