the smuggler’s bible


It’s tough being the best, so Lancelot decides to be someone else. He wakes up early and straps on Kay’s armor. The innkeep sees him going. Lancelot gives him a wink and puts a finger against his lips. “Shh,” he says, “it’s better this way.”

Heading out of town, he stops long enough to wallop the first three chumps who fall for the trick—just to get warmed up, you know? The brothers Gaunter, Gilmere and Raynold eat his dust. Hard.

“Wow, fellas,” Gilmere says, “Kay is way better than I remember.”

Gaunter rolls over and coughs up some blood.