the smuggler’s bible

Hontzlake of Wentland

Hontzlake of Wentland sees a woman he likes, so he takes her, hoping those idiots at the castle are too busy feasting to even notice.

But they do notice. And they send Pellinore. Luckily, Hontzlake has a few tricks up his sleeve.

(Trick #1: Lying) “That’s my girlfriend,” he says. “I got her fair and square.”

“Come on.” Pellinore shrugs and looks around. “Who the heck are you trying to kid?”

(Trick #2: Intimidation) “Well, hands off or you’ll get a knuckle sandwich, buddy.”

Immediately and without warning, Hontzlake stabs Pellinore’s horse right in the heart. (Trick #3: Sneak Attack)