the smuggler’s bible


When the tall man walks, it’s like the door to a badly organized broom cupboard has been flung open by somebody with (impossibly!) both of their hands full and a dog underfoot. More precisely, it resembles the moment immediately after such a thing has occurred. The short man, on the other hand, doesn’t walk at all, preferring to sit and look for bugs among the leaves.

Is this a Goldilocks thing, Grotusque wonders. Do people think I’m, like, the medium guy?

He spends the afternoon trying to develop different whimsical qualities. But, of course, these things are impossible to fake.