the smuggler’s bible

Kitty Everclear

Kitty Everclear hauls her trunk set through the airlock and tethers each box to her harness with zip cord and carabiners. Zero-G isn’t tough for a cat, but it takes all four paws. She makes her way along the station’s spindle toward the green room, her wardrobe floating around her like a halo.

“I’m here to compete,” she tells the camera over her shoulder, “to prove I’ve got guts.” Secretly she just hopes the recycled air doesn’t fuck with her fur.

The other queens seem nice at first, but, honey, it’s reality TV—eventually it’s just hissing, spitting and claws.