the smuggler’s bible


Risto carries the rock from the garden to his room with oven mitts and drops it into a soup pot padded with a towel.

“All right,” he says, tapping the heat-smoothed stone with a pencil, “I seen the movies. Open up you freaks, or I’ll get the hammer.”

And they actually do it! Six little guys come crawling out of a hole in the rock. They’re like people, but greenish. Risto sells them to the FBI for like forty bucks each.

He’s still grounded ’cause of mom’s flowers getting trashed, but (and this is key) she doesn’t take the Nintendo.