the smuggler’s bible

Vampire Killers

The vampire killers jimmy the lock and go in a side door. The old manor is nice, if a bit dusty.

“We sure about this one?”

“Pretty sure. I guess.”

“This place isn’t very decrepit.”

“Well, we’ve checked plenty of decrepit places that didn’t have vampires.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

They ready pistol, cutlass, cross and wafer, then begin the search. In a basement closet, they find a gaunt man sound asleep.

“Let’s take a second. I don’t want another homeless man’s blood on my hands.”

It’s all good though. The dude is an honest-to-god Dracula, and they stake him hard.